The Dangers of Parenthood

Last night we had the family over for dinner. My mother had made rice krispy treats and brought them over for dessert. After dinner, the kids were off playing, the men were in front of the TV and I cleaned the kitchen while talking to mom, sis and her friend. As I was cleaning off the table I saw that E hadn't finished her rice krispy treat. I actually said out loud "A little more rice krispy treat won't hurt me" as I popped a bite size piece into my mouth. It was at that moment my sis informed me that she has just finished prying that particular piece off the seat of my daughter's pants. Nice.

In addition to accidentally eating questionable things here is a list of other dangers that come along with parenthood:

Gross Stuff - Never, I repeat never, sniff the inside of the sippy cup that mysteriously turns up in the sink. It will be the one your husband found in his car. One that was probably in there for a few weeks. Ew. A strong gag reflex is a helpful tool in the parenting field. 

Embarrassment - E has taken to calling strange men "daddy" in public. She sees a guy with a ball cap, points at him and screams "DADDY" at the top of her lungs. Most men don't notice, or laugh it off, but one poor guy in the grocery store was visibly horrified. Then on our way out of the parking lot I found myself following him out in my car. He looked so freaked out as he sped away. Actually, it was pretty funny. Embarrassing, but funny.

Pain - Ever had your kid head butt you in the nose? Pray you don't.  Then there is the accidental scratching with those razor sharp baby nails.  The enviable toy dropped on your foot.  Just the other day E ran up to me while I was on the phone and bit me on the leg.  Left a mark.  Thankfully, she hasn't done it since.  I must admit my reaction was not the most mature and it resulted in time outs for both of us. 

These are just a few of the dangers of parenthood.  I sure given some time I could think of many more.  However I will instead start thinking of ways to embarrass E when she is a teenager.  Payback!  I  bet it comes easy to me.  If not, I can always get tips from my mother.