Toddler Food

Last night I discovered that Elle likes to drink pickle juice. Ew. Oh yeah, she also ate an ENTIRE tube of strawberry "flavored" Hello Kitty chapstick. I mean the whole damn thing. And, as I was trying to explain why this was a bad idea, she was looking up at me with her big blue eyes all the while licking and slurping the remaining chapstick off of her fingers.

Then I started to worry. I mean, of course kids probably eat this stuff all the time...but I am a worrier, so I did what any mom would do. I turned to Google. Google failed me big time with little information other than maybe I should call Poison Control just to double check.

The very calm lady on the phone at Poison Control, who did a decent job of keeping judgement out of her voice, explained that she should be fine. However, it might have a latent laxative effect. In a "bad mommy" moment I said a silent prayer that that would happen at preschool and not at home.

The Bedtime Saga Continues

Purchased a cheap-o DVD player and a Care Bear movie. My sweet sis-in-law delivered the small TV and we were going to be set. Elle was going to have her own mini movie theater in her bedroom and hopefully at least fall asleep in there with minimal fuss. Well the whole plan came to a screeching halt when the damn TV didn't have hookups for the DVD player. For the love. So, I went to bed with Elle again in my room. That was probably good for me since I am still getting over my ear infection, but my house will fall apart and the DVR will explode with unwatched shows if this keeps up.

In other news...I get to research places for company party today. Right up my alley. Totally fun.

Thowing Up the White Flag AKA Parenting Fail

I have secured a TV for Elle's room. Now I just need to get a DVD player. I feel like a huge failure. I have NEVER had a TV in my room and I admit I have been a little self-righteous about that fact. Guess it serves it me right for judging. Just like I felt all superior for not letting my baby sleep in my bed. All that got me was a toddler foot in my ribs all night.

Elle 3, Mommy 0

While last night didn't culminate in dramatic puking or biting Elle still won in the end. She wouldn't stay in bed again. I tried the Love & Logic approach and told her she didn't have to sleep, just stay in the room. Didn't work. She just kept chasing me out. I tried another suggestion which was, without words, repeatedly put her back into bed. Didn't work. I don't know if that tactic works on a child who is hysterical. I couldn't even walk out of the room without her on my heels screaming, grabbing, and thrashing. I then calmly said that if she didn't stay in bed I was going to start taking away privileges, favorite things etc. Didn't work. My turning off the CD player just resulted in louder screaming. I finally just got in bed with her. At this point it was after 10PM and I should have been in bed anyway. My ear still hurts like a bitch, I have been sick for 3 weeks and I need my rest. Once I got in bed Elle was asleep in 2 minutes. I couldn't sleep. I don't know which makes be a worse parent, my complete parenting bedtime fail or the fact that my kid winning this damn game keeps me awake at night.

And Then She Bit Me

This morning I suggested Elle go live with Grandma. Just until she is 4 and no longer psycho. In the last week she has had two gigantic fits. One that resulted in her getting so worked up she threw up chocolate ice cream all over my bed. I would like to note that we have white sheets. And then last night she refused to stay in bed. After an hour of pleading, bribing, consoling, and otherwise being completely manipulated my someone a third of my height, I finally said I was putting away her Little People (the current top rated toys in the house) until she could learn to go to bed without being a crazy person. This resulted in her tearing out of the room after me shrieking. And then she bit me.

It doesn't help that I am in a weakened state. I finally broke down and went to the doctor today after the cold that wouldn't quit. Turns out I have a sinus and ear infection. Last night's parenting nightmare ended in a grand finale of failure when Daddy decided to play the hero (or brat maker) and gave in to her demands by sitting next to her until she fell asleep. A monster has been created and I don't know how to fight it.